Here's a little section of the Prologue of my book. Please inform me if you do find it interesting.
<<“Going somewhere?” one man said to the Cardinal in a voice of disgust.
“Brand him!” shouted the master from the opposite side of the room.
A third man then appeared out of what seemed to be nowhere with a red-hot branding iron in his right hand. It looked like it had a symbol and some letters on it. One of the original two men started to unbutton the top of the Cardinals red cassock while the other held him down.
“I mark you, body and soul with this iron, may this remi…” said the man as his words faded into inaudible whispers. >>
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3 comments:
I followed the link from gumtree to come here.
I commend you for starting a serious work, and doing a blog to support it is a good idea.
I'm not here to criticise, but when I read the original plot outline, I couldn't help but have a recollection of 'Angels & Demons' // 'Da Vinci Code'. Perhaps that is not necessarily a bad thing, BUT just be aware that it could affect some readers into thinking 'we've heard this all before'.
I have now also read that first extract you posted.
It's a good start, but you definitely need a trusted person to help you edit. The 'seemed to appear from nowhere' and 'the first man, the second man and the first two men' type sentences get a bit convoluted and make the sentences long and a bit tiring. I would recommend finding a way to get around that.
Do keep working on it, it will be a great accomplishment to have a finished works.
But remember, the final story is told in the editing.
Good luck and regards
It all depends what you want to do with this work. If it's just a hobby, then great and full respect to you. But if you're hoping to get it published then you really need to start going to some legitimate creative writing classes (and not just forums or writer groups). It's obvious from what you've already written that you're not a natural writer, but that's not to say that you'll never be a writer! But by getting small pieces of input as you go, you won't achieve anything in terms of becoming a better writer; in essence, other people just do the work for you. It's a common experience for writers who inhabit forums and blogs.
The test of a good writer is to be able to sum up their story in 25 words and to make it impactful and arresting; so much so that anyone who reads that summary will want to read the rest of the story. A bad writer will fall at that hurdle because compacting everything you want to say into so few words is a true test of a writer. Which is why most novelists and screenwriters begin with that summary; it saves a lot of time in the long run. If you can't write the summary, you can't write and it's time to move on!
Hope there's some useful advice there!
Thank you.
Your clunking prose and desperately unoriginal plot both serve to give me greater faith in my own talents.
Either get some writing courses fucking quickly...or give up. Because if you write an entire book in that...for want of a better word...style, then you'll have wasted a significant portion of your life.
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